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8 notes

The first thing to the left of your computer you use to fight a dalek.What you’re wearing right now is what you’ll wear when you first meet the Doctor.First thing to the right of your computer you use to repair the Tardis. How screwed are you? Right so I’m fighting dalek’s with a… usb… Meeting the doctor in jeans and a hoodie, and repairing the tardis with a pen… Yep, I’m doomed

The first thing to the left of your computer you use to fight a dalek.
What you’re wearing right now is what you’ll wear when you first meet the Doctor.
First thing to the right of your computer you use to repair the Tardis.

How screwed are you?

Right so I’m fighting dalek’s with a… usb… Meeting the doctor in jeans and a hoodie, and repairing the tardis with a pen… Yep, I’m doomed

Filed under doctor who dr who bbc dalek whodom options how screwed are you

34 notes

Black Books Episode: The Grapes of Wrath

Bernard:
[fiendish laughter] They'd all laugh at me if they knew what I was trying to do. To create a new strain of super wine in half an hour with a fraction of natures resources and a FOOL for an assistant. Bernard Black, he's mad they'd say. He's insane. He's dangerous. Well I'll show them, I'll show them all!
Manny:
I have returned.
Bernard:
Nutmeg, we need nutmeg!
Manny:
NUTMEG!
Bernard:
It's my destiny, my legacy to the world!
Manny:
Is there anything else you need? It's just with the limp and everything, I'm getting a bit tired.
Bernard:
JUST GET THE NUTMEG!
Manny:
Nutmeg!
Manny:
Oh it's just here.
Bernard:
Ah. And an oak finish. Oak... Oak! To the front garden!
[both go outside]
Bernard:
What is this? This isn't oak. Why did you get so much? You fool!
Manny:
[whimpering]
Bernard:
Get back! Get back in! Get back in!
[back inside]
Bernard:
[puts stem in bottle, raises it] Now live! LIVE!
[thunder and lightning]

Filed under black books bernard black manny wine frankenstein creation chat monologue lol bbc tv series

15 notes

Rimmer:
....Sometimes you have to learn how to lose before you're ready to win. It's all in this facinating book I'm reading.
Kryten:
Oh, what's it called sir?
Rimmer:
Sometimes You Have to Learn How to Lose Before You're Ready to Win.
Rimmer:
It's not a long book Kryten but it makes a good point, I think. Which is-
Kryten:
Sometimes you have to learn how to lose before you're ready to win?
Rimmer:
You've read it?
Kryten:
Err actually no sir.
Rimmer:
Ahh sounds like you have.

Filed under red dwarf red dwarf s10e01 arnold rimmer kryten bbc tv televsion series sci-fi chat conversation motto life

669 notes

The Cheerful Cynic: youvegotwings: When I see some of the comments, I swear it’s like...

youvegotwings:

When I see some of the comments, I swear it’s like people didn’t get the story arc for this season : the doctor has been travelling on his own for the most part and because of it he’s getting darker and darker and losing sense of what’s good and what’s not. It makes no sense…

People also forget what the ninth doctor was like at the very beginning

Filed under Dr who doctor BBC tv series whovians

70 notes

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy's Whale.

Whale:
Ahh! What's happening!?
Whale:
Ah excuse me, who am I? Hello? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I?
Whale:
Calm down, get a grip now.
Whale:
Oh this is an interesting sensation. What is it? It's a sort of yawning, tingling sensation in my... my... Well I suppose I better start finding names for things if I'm to make any headway in this - what I shall call an arguement, in what I shall call the world!
Whale:
So let's call it my... Stomach!
Whale:
So a yawning, tingling sensation in my stomach! Good! Wow ooh it's getting quite strong.
Whale:
Hey, what about this whistling, roaring sound going past what I'm suddenly going to call my head! That can be wind! Is that a good name? Well, it'll do. I'll try and find a better name for it later when I find out what it's for because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it!
Whale:
Hey, what's this thing? This...ta...tail! Yeah, tail!
Whale:
Hey I can really thrash about pretty good can't I? Wow! Wow! Hey! Doesn't seem to achieve much but I'll find out what it's for later on.
Whale:
Now, have I built up any coherent picture of me yet?
Whale:
...no.
Whale:
Oh well, hey this is really exciting, I'm quite dizzy with anticipation! Or is that the wind?
Whale:
And wow, what's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very, very fast! So big and flat and wide, it needs a big wide sounding word like, rou...roun...round...ground! That's it, ground!
Whale:
I wonder if it'll be friends with me?

Filed under douglas adams hitchhikers hitch hikers guide to the galaxy whale book novel movie radio broadcast monologue lol funny humour bbc british sci-fi science fiction hitch-hikers the guide